Main Entry: ennui
Part of Speech: noun
Synonyms: apathy, blues, boredom, dissatisfaction, doldrums, fatigue, languor, lassitude, listlessness, melancholy, tedium, weariness
Is that what I have? I find myself wanting to do everything, yet doing nothing. I cannot stay engaged in a task for long. If I stay at something for a period of time, I grow weary, tired, my eyes get that "sandman just came" feeling, long before it is time to sleep.
So, I switch to something else, or get up and walk around, or eat (BAD choice!), or click in and out of never-updating bloglines or forums (fora?)(note to self: if you just finished reading a site, clicking into one other place and then back to the first, will most likely NOT bring you to new content.)
But nothing keeps me engaged for long. Is this ennui? Depression? stress? anxiety? apathy? uncertainty? sadness? A little bit of this or that or all of these?
Or is it being overweight and uncomfortable and, apparently, unwilling to change that?
All of the above?
I don't usually share this place in my psyche with the world... but I think I need to do that more often. Perhaps the sharing will help me move away from here and get a little peace, a little motivation, a little concentration.