Monday, August 31, 2009

Musical Theater is running through my brain...

I've been feeling a little blue. Life has been a bit overwhelming this year. Money issues. Family issues. Mom's health issues. Friends experiencing some real trouble and injustice.

Some days I feel like a one-armed juggler just waiting for the plates to come crashing down around me.

I'm a pretty good (virtual) juggler. (In reality I couldn't juggle if my life depended on it - bad eyes) To keep my important plates up and in proper order, the lesser plates stay on the table, waiting to be worked into the rotation. Unfortunately, the lesser plate pile gets bigger as the same important plates get tossed faster and faster at a frenetic pace. The lesser plates never get incorporated and then I look at the pile and wonder why nothing is moving, nothing is done.

Today, that is what I'm feeling.

When I feel this way, music from the stage and screen begins to echo in my head. Without provocation, the filing cabinet in my brain pops up the appropriate song, thought, fact that fits the situation or that tries to FIX the situation.

Tonight, the sound track is trying to cheer me up.

Judy Garland is singing "Forget your troubles. Come on be happy..." from Summer Stock.

Dick Van Dyke is singing "Grey skies are gonna clear up. Put on a Happy Face..." from Bye Bye Birdie.

It's not really working.

I think I'm tired. I want to do things, but haven't the ooomph to get up and do them.

I need to step away from the computer for a while, and make myself scarce on Ravelry and Facebook and Yahoo. I have a feeling my habit of checking these sites frequently is a major contributor to my blues and my avoidance of the lesser plate pile. Previously, I have been unsuccessful in my attempts to step away. My fingers seem to have a mind of their own. Their habits are well established. They know the buttons to push and the sites to visit and the games to play.

I need to use the computer for business. I want to use it to avoid my life. I need to retrain my mind and hands to stick with the necessary computer use and severely limit the I Want Computer Time use.

Time to scale back. Time to step away.

Time to find a new direction, to find the drive to lower that pile of lesser plates and ease my mind.

Wish me luck!


Woollyminded said...

Take care of yourself. You will be missed. Comb back soon.

Ev said...

I hear you loud and clear. We're facing some of that here, too. Wishing you much strength, luck and success, my dear.